


Big Black Horse and a Cherry Tree

by rotschopf



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Explicit Language, Humor, M/M, Parody, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-04
Updated: 2005-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-30 06:56:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10156769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotschopf/pseuds/rotschopf
Summary: Some things should stay in that place in the middle of nowhere, with a big black horse and a cherry tree.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

title: big black horse and a cherry tree 1/1  
author: rotschopf  
mail: rotschopf (at) rotschopf (dot) org  
pairing: ron weasley / draco malfoy, harry potter / lucius malfoy implied  
rating: pg-13  
warnings: crack!fic, language, references to sexual situations  
disclaimer: still not my pleasure slaves. no profit made, no harm intended. for entertainment purposes only.  
archive: tddm, my lj, skyehawke, fictionalley, poisonsdarkfics only  
beta: Lara, thank you so much, babe *huggles and smooches*  
finished: July 28th 2005  
summary: some things should stay in that place in the middle of nowhere, with a big black horse and a cherry tree.

as always, all my stories can be found at groups.yahoo.com/group/TDDM

A/N: dedicated to Laeb. she requested Ron/Draco.  
A/N2: title and summary provided by KT Tunstall's song 'Big Black Horse and a Cherry Tree'

~o0o~

Draco groaned. What a... *headache*. Now he understood what his friends were talking about when they spoke about the mother of all headaches. The bitch was nesting right inside his head. 

He cracked one eye open and immediately realised that this particular course of action had been a very bad idea. A ray of sunlight was streaming right through his partially closed bed curtains and onto his face. But even more annoying than the headache and the sun in his face was the fact that he had no recollection of the previous night.

He frowned, realising that doing so was a bad idea as well, since his head started to pound even worse. He fumbled blindly for his bedside drawer, grabbing a phial of his stack of hangover potions when he finally managed to open the drawer. He quickly downed the content, pulling a face at vile taste.

He sighed in relief as the potion did its work, effectively neutralising the effects of his alcohol escapade from the previous night. But he still couldn't remember what had happened exactly. All he remembered was the party.

Party. Draco moaned pitifully, throwing one arm over his face. The one thing he wanted to forget was seemingly the only thing he was able to remember. Potter and his father. Announcing that they'd not only been a couple since before the end of the war, but that they were getting married as well.

"Could someone *please* wake me from this nightmare?" Draco said aloud, only realising that he had done so when he got an answer.

"It wasn't that bad."

Draco froze, realising that he wasn't alone in his bed. He turned his head slowly, hoping that it was at least someone he knew. Yet, when he spotted the shock of red hair resting against the pillows, he wished desperately for a lightning bolt to strike him down. Lightning bolt. Potter and his father. Bad train of thoughts.

"What are you doing in my bed?" he asked cautiously. He still could hope that it was one of older Weasley brothers. Hell, even one of the twins would be better than the person Draco suspected.

"Trying to sleep. But you can't keep your trap shut, can you?" the man murmured again, not bothering to even turn around and look at Draco.

Not one of the twins, then. Or one of the older Weasleys. At least, not what Draco could discern from the gruff voice. That only left one option, and Draco felt sick. "I'm asking again, *Weasley*. What are you doing in my bed?"

"Oh, now it's Weasley again, isn't it? That's so typically you." Finally, the man by Draco's side turned, and Draco felt his worst fears confirmed. "What? Cat ate your tongue?"

"Alright, let's try a different route. How did you *get* into my bed?" Draco asked calmly, despite the sinking feeling in his gut. He was naked under the sheets, and he had the suspicion that Weasley was as well. Which didn't leave many options to the question what they had done the night before.

"You really don't remember, do you?" Weasley asked with a tenderness in his voice that was completely alien to Draco. "Harry and your father announced their engagement, remember?"

"That's about the only thing I remember. Oh, and starting to drink myself into oblivion to forget about that."

Weasley chuckled, and Draco realised, mortified, that the sound sent a pleasant tingle through his body. "Yeah, I bloody remember that. I kind of joined you in your quest. We started to talk about how wrong Harry was for your father and the other way around. Which led us to the discussion of homosexuality in general."

"That's all fine and good. Still doesn't explain why you're in my bed," Draco mumbled, turning onto his side as well. As strange as it seemed, he enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere. At least, they hadn't tried to bait or punch each other. Yet.

"I admitted that I'm curious." Weasley shrugged. "You offered."

"I did *what*?" Draco squawked, completely horrified at what Weasley was implying.

"You offered," Weasley repeated slowly. "We came up here and things sort of progressed from there."

"Sort of?" Draco raised his eyebrows. "You mean, we had sex."

Weasley chuckled again, shaking his head slightly. "You're something, Draco. Honestly." He yawned and stretched.

Draco? "We had *sex*," Draco said again, indignantly.

"So what? We fucked. Doesn't mean we have to marry or something..."

Draco put one hand up in defence. "Don't-- even go there. Just-- don't."

Weas-- Ron sighed. "Mind if I use your loo?"

"No. No, go ahead." Draco waved dismissively.

Ron gave him the two-fingered salute and slipped out of bed. Draco gulped. Ron undeniably had changed. He wasn't the coltish, gangly teenager anymore Draco remembered from school. He had filled out quite nicely and the freckles definitely enhanced Ron's appeal. From a strictly aesthetic point of view, of course. "Where does that leave us?" Draco blurted out, clamping a hand over his mouth.

Ron turned around, apparently unfazed by his nudity. "I don't know. Where do you want us to be left?" Draco stared. If he had thought Ron had a gorgeous backside, it was nothing compared to what he was showing off now, and Draco couldn't help his eyes travelling the length of Ron's body. "I'll be right back," Ron finally said, padding into the bathroom.

Draco closed his eyes again in annoyance. Not only did he have to wake up in bed with a Weasley, he also had to like it. It completely eluded his mind why he wasn't running away, screaming, or tossing the infuriating man out of his bed and room. More so, he *wanted* to know where Weas-- Ron wanted them to be, and that thought alone should have told Draco that something was seriously wrong here.

He jumped when he felt the bed beneath him dipping, looking up quick enough to realise that Ron was crawling back into bed. And between his legs, which seemed to have a mind of their own and fell open readily. Ron covered Draco's body with his, slipping his hands under Draco's head and into his hair. He prodded him softly with his nose before he returned Draco's gaze. "I won't lie to you, Draco. You're a proper bastard and your attitude needs a serious remodelling."

"Hey!" Draco said furiously, once again reminded why exactly he shouldn't enjoy Ron's weight against his body and why his prick should keep a low profile.

"But." Ron kissed him briefly on the lips. "That doesn't change the fact that you're gorgeous as hell and good company when you're not bad-mouthing anything and everyone."

"What-- Ah, what exactly are you saying, Ron?" Draco said slowly, indeed not sure what Ron was hinting at. Gentlemen's agreement? Fuck buddies? Boyfriends?

Ron grinned, and Draco noticed that the grin lit up Ron's eyes in a very attractive manner. "I like how you say my name." Draco rolled his eyes, desperately trying to keep his amusement to himself. "How do you feel?"

"Freaked," Draco said immediately. "Not so much about the fact that I had sex with a man because I'm about as queer as they come," he added quickly when Ron raised one eyebrow. "Aren't we supposed to hate each other?"

"And why's that? Hell, if Harry can marry a man who tried to kill him on more than one occasion, I sure as hell can take you to bed." Ron again dropped a shy kiss on Draco's mouth, but this time Draco lifted his head and kissed him back. "War has taught me one thing, Draco. Never ever jump to conclusions; rather think before you act."

Suddenly, realisation dawned on Draco, and he smirked. "You planned this, didn't you? Playing the virgin to get me into bed with you."

Ron blushed furiously and despite the fact that it horribly clashed with Ron's hair, Draco found the fact endearing. "I did plan this, yes. For a long time. But I didn't lie to you about being a virgin. I've never been with a man before."

"You sneaky little thing." Draco was positively smug. It pleased him greatly that Ron would choose him of all people to lose whatever resemblance of innocence he had have left. "That's an almost Slytherinesque thing to do."

"Coming out of your mouth, that's almost a compliment." He studied Draco for a moment, the look of tenderness and affection being back in his eyes. "Does that potion of yours take care of morning breath as well?"

"Naturally. Why?"

Ron didn't answer, but leaned down for another kiss, licking his way into Draco's mouth. Draco whimpered appreciatively, burying his hands in Ron's hair. Oh yes. He could definitely see himself in a relationship with Ron. Everything else could just stay in that place in the middle of nowhere, with a big black horse and a cherry tree.

~o0o~

the end.


End file.
